I have a new iPhone and quite honestly I love it. Angry birds is keeping me going right now as the trials at work continue to grind me down! Brief update this evening as I am off to pub quiz with my man and my good friend Chewy. Customer of the week .....
You or may not be aware that all cigarettes sold in the UK must now have a "pictorial" on them warning of the hazards of smoking as merely writing SMOKING KILLS in black block caps made bugger all difference to the smoking population. Anyway there are many different pictures all equally gross to me. The following took place on the cigarette kiosk at work ...
customer - "20 Lambert and butler gold please"
I pass the cigarettes
customer - "oh god no, I don't want a picture of the child breathing in smoke - its disgusting"
me - "no problem sir"
I then turn and pick the next two packs
me - "would you rather a tumour on the lungs or the rotten teeth"
customer - "I really don't care, just not the child"
You know when you think "what surreal world do I live in???
Smart cap on I'm off to quiz it up ..... I will stop moaning on this blog soon .... not for a while though!
Tuesday, 20 April 2010
Thursday, 15 April 2010
today matthew .... i'm going to a customer service desk assistant!
Its just not that glamorous. I wonder how it feels to wake up in the morning and think "yeah work will be awesome today". I'm not sure I have ever felt this way about my work and other than my cousin Batch I doubt anyone really does. What I do love is the banter at work and also the blog content the general public offer me
This week I looked at myself and faced reality .... I watch too much Jeremy Kyle. I don't enjoy it, it really bothers me, HE really bothers me. Yet still I watch it. So Tuesday I decided to give it up. Cold turkey. No more Kyle. I have no will power as I am watching it while I type this. Why do I do it to myself? I don't relate to the people on there, feel no sympathy toward them. They anger me. So at 10.25am this morning I am giving up once more. I'd like to say I'll blog every morning in place of JK but actually I should do something much more constructive.
I should get ready for work .... no doubt I will have my next blog content by lunchtime!!
Have a great day people!
p.s anyone who loves games should give this podcast a listen to
http://walljump.podbean.com/2010/04/08/wall-jump-radio-episode-1-first-jump/
This week I looked at myself and faced reality .... I watch too much Jeremy Kyle. I don't enjoy it, it really bothers me, HE really bothers me. Yet still I watch it. So Tuesday I decided to give it up. Cold turkey. No more Kyle. I have no will power as I am watching it while I type this. Why do I do it to myself? I don't relate to the people on there, feel no sympathy toward them. They anger me. So at 10.25am this morning I am giving up once more. I'd like to say I'll blog every morning in place of JK but actually I should do something much more constructive.
I should get ready for work .... no doubt I will have my next blog content by lunchtime!!
Have a great day people!
p.s anyone who loves games should give this podcast a listen to
http://walljump.podbean.com/2010/04/08/wall-jump-radio-episode-1-first-jump/
Friday, 2 April 2010
supermarket workers = retards? according to the public ... yes!
Good Friday at work was not exactly good at all. It was busy enough so the day flew by, but once again I was handed a reminder that public honestly believe those who work in supermarkets do so because they are too retarded to work else where. God forbid we work there because we enjoy it, or its convenient and local, or it pays pretty well and the share schemes make our bank managers love us. No no, clearly we work there because we are stupid. This was proven today when the following conversation took place while I was busy filling the dairy shelves. (During the conversation below I will refer to the other lady as customer but please bear in mind she in clearly smarter than me and better than me because while she shops in a supermarket she certainly does not work in one)
customer - excuse me, can you tell me where I will find the belinis
me - I'm fairly sure we only do them at Christmas but if we do have them they will be in the fish cabinet
customer - the fish cabinet?
me - yes, its just next to the fish cabinet ... shall I show you?
customer - do you even know what a bilini is????
me - (lost for words I give her my best "wow do I look that stupid" look)
customer - they are little pancakes for savoury appetisers
me - (at this point politeness is replaced with blind cheek and sarcasm) ooohhh they sound lovely ... what would you put on top of them
customer - smoked salmon
me - hhmmmm makes sense to keep them near the fish then wouldn't you say?!
With that the customer strides off and I am once again left loving the daily banter in the work place!
Ok .... so maybe it wasn't such a bad Friday after all!
customer - excuse me, can you tell me where I will find the belinis
me - I'm fairly sure we only do them at Christmas but if we do have them they will be in the fish cabinet
customer - the fish cabinet?
me - yes, its just next to the fish cabinet ... shall I show you?
customer - do you even know what a bilini is????
me - (lost for words I give her my best "wow do I look that stupid" look)
customer - they are little pancakes for savoury appetisers
me - (at this point politeness is replaced with blind cheek and sarcasm) ooohhh they sound lovely ... what would you put on top of them
customer - smoked salmon
me - hhmmmm makes sense to keep them near the fish then wouldn't you say?!
With that the customer strides off and I am once again left loving the daily banter in the work place!
Ok .... so maybe it wasn't such a bad Friday after all!
Thursday, 1 April 2010
the most ridiculous queue argument EVER ...
Today was a day of many frustrations. I was day off which was far from frustrating in itself but with a day off comes the inevitable trip into town. Quite a few kids not a school getting under my feet which is annoying. Also annoying is the big issue seller in the middle of chelmsford. Why is he incapable of just saying "big issue, get your big issue here"? No. Instead he shouts "bii iissshhhhuuuu" completely dropping the G altogether. At one point he actually said "get you big copy of the issue here". Really how hard can it be?!
I went into LUSH the smellies store to get a friend a few gifts and asked the lady at the till if they have any gift boxes. She says no but they have scarves. Excuse me??? I was after a box. She then goes on to show me how she can wrap the goods in a scarf then the scarf can be reused .... as a scarf and I was lost. I left the store scarfless and smelly goodsless feeling I'd slipped into an alternate reality where boxes no longer existed and scarfs had taken over.
And why oh why are the public so unaware of personal space. So many people knocked me with their handbags today I could have slapped someone. Women with big bags should have to take some kind of carrying test and if you cant move around town without hitting people get a smaller f*****g bag!
I then headed to a department store to get a few items of clothes for my little fella. I approach the please pay here area where there are two tills being operated. There is one lady waiting at one till so I approach the other till. Both of us are waiting for quite a while as the lady in front of her has a lot to pay for, while the old couple in front of me are retired so talking to the nice lady at the till is the highlight of their day and its clear the are going to make the most of it. The lady in the other queue catches my eye and the following conversation takes place ...
her - are you in the queue?
me - it would appear so yes
her - its just that Iwas here first
me - first in the queue for that till, I'm waiting for this one
her - well they normally have a sign up saying queue here and its just one queue
me - well that sign isn't here today is it?
her - i know, but it normally is
me - tell you what, you can go next whatever till becomes available
her - well I don't want you thinking I'm just pushing in but its always one queue here
me - believe me I couldn't care less, I'll be sure you get served next
Then, in a brilliant turn of events the very till she was queueing for comes available so that whole conversation need never have happened! Better still, a little while after she begins paying I get to my till pay up just in time to witness her till crash as she tries to use her card. I cant resist laughing to myself as I leave the store while she struggles to pay.
This was certainly the highlight of my day!!
Happy easter all
I went into LUSH the smellies store to get a friend a few gifts and asked the lady at the till if they have any gift boxes. She says no but they have scarves. Excuse me??? I was after a box. She then goes on to show me how she can wrap the goods in a scarf then the scarf can be reused .... as a scarf and I was lost. I left the store scarfless and smelly goodsless feeling I'd slipped into an alternate reality where boxes no longer existed and scarfs had taken over.
And why oh why are the public so unaware of personal space. So many people knocked me with their handbags today I could have slapped someone. Women with big bags should have to take some kind of carrying test and if you cant move around town without hitting people get a smaller f*****g bag!
I then headed to a department store to get a few items of clothes for my little fella. I approach the please pay here area where there are two tills being operated. There is one lady waiting at one till so I approach the other till. Both of us are waiting for quite a while as the lady in front of her has a lot to pay for, while the old couple in front of me are retired so talking to the nice lady at the till is the highlight of their day and its clear the are going to make the most of it. The lady in the other queue catches my eye and the following conversation takes place ...
her - are you in the queue?
me - it would appear so yes
her - its just that Iwas here first
me - first in the queue for that till, I'm waiting for this one
her - well they normally have a sign up saying queue here and its just one queue
me - well that sign isn't here today is it?
her - i know, but it normally is
me - tell you what, you can go next whatever till becomes available
her - well I don't want you thinking I'm just pushing in but its always one queue here
me - believe me I couldn't care less, I'll be sure you get served next
Then, in a brilliant turn of events the very till she was queueing for comes available so that whole conversation need never have happened! Better still, a little while after she begins paying I get to my till pay up just in time to witness her till crash as she tries to use her card. I cant resist laughing to myself as I leave the store while she struggles to pay.
This was certainly the highlight of my day!!
Happy easter all
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